My Thought Bubble...!!!

You know those weird, random thoughts that go through your head? I’m sure that if my “thought bubble” was visible, everyone would run screaming. Even I don’t say everything I think – and that’s scary because I already get weird looks.

So I’m taking a shower this morning…

Don’t worry. No need to cue to porn music. I’m doing my normal girl routine. You know. Shaving the legs and underarms. And so I randomly think to myself, “Why do I do this? I mean WHY? I live alone. Nobody’s here to even care! It just takes up time.” But I keep on shaving anyway. And THEN I say to myself, “Maybe I’ll just shave half my body. Just one leg and one armpit. Like forever. I wonder what that would look like. I wonder how long my hair would grow. No one would have to know. If someone found out, would they think I’m a freak?”

What??????

So I’m at church last weekend…

The preacher is up there talking and doing his thing. The moment is serious. Suddenly, I have the overwhelming need to stand up, scream and start running around flapping my arms like a crazy girl.

What is WRONG with me???

So I’m celebrating a co-worker’s birthday the other day…

On birthdays, everyone gets their favorite choice of bday cake. Her favorite is white cake with white icing. First of all – B.O.R.I.N.G. So we’re all surrounding the cake trying to get a piece and someone describes it as being “white on white”. I think to myself, “I wonder if that’s anything like girl on girl.”

An oath to myself:

No matter what the inner-ME tries to tell me…

I will always shave both legs and both underarms. I will not scream and run around at church like a crazy girl. And next time I think of a porn reference, I will say it out loud so everyone can appreciate it.